havocandmayhem.com

I have become much easier to scare since I had kids. My subconscious seems to enjoy scaring the crap out of me from time to time, usually as I am trying to fall asleep (which is why I take Lunesta). It dredges up things I read or watched decades ago and waves them around until I am too scared to sleep. I can calm myself down but then it starts back up. The last time I wigged myself out really well was the last time DH went camping & I was alone with the boys. Our garbage can corral is near the window of our bedroom and wind makes the cans bump into one another and occasionally varmints get in them & are noisy as well. I know this. Rationally I am perfectly certain what I am hearing is rattled garbage cans and eventually I can talk myself into that but before I get there my subconscious gets convinced that what is actually out there is a couple of guys with knives or something wanting to kill us. So for awhile I sit there scared to death, plotting how to get back to the...

I think it would be Thursdays because I have finally managed to get the hang of Thursdays (and will do just about anything to toss a Douglas Adams referance into my posts). Thursdays are my slack day. DS1 is usually in preschool (they are on vacation this week). I run my errands on Tues & Wed whenever possible. Mondays & Fridays is gym and tumbling class with both boys adn require lots of running around. Weekends are so variable it is hard to know if I am going to be able to relax or not. Thursdays though almost always mean I can do whatever I want for the whole morning. DS2 & I can go to the gym, go shopping, stay home, whatever. Apart from dropping off & picking up DS1 I have no requirements

Dealing with Anger Family life demands a volume of work & it can be a source of anger. Skilfully managed anger can equip us with inner resources & provdes an opportunity for wisdom as we exlore & resolve it. Anger includes many behaviors - sulking, withdrawing, behaving coldly, making snide comments Anger does more damage to ourselves than to the object of our anger - it takes our energy, threatens our health & undermines our ability to make wise decisions. Buddah said : Hatred can never cease by hatred. Hatred can only cease by love. This is an eternal love. Angry actions tend to induce angry or defensive responses. Anger has 3 components We perceive an object that we find unpleasant We exaggerate the perceived harm We develop a wish to harm Anger leads to a harming mind which, if we want to make spiritual progress, we must abandon. First recognize the negative force of the anger Next look within to understand & eliminate the cause Meditation can be used to gener...

Finding Calm Nothing lasts. The bad mood will pass. We can weather it for now & avoid assigning it any major significance. Motherhood forces us to reflect onour lives, on what is important to us & how we want to live the rest of our lives. Motherhood is the world's Greatest Learning Experience. Assume an attitude of hospitality toward the emotion - Oh its you again anger. Don't avoid it & don't judge it, just attend to it without getting too involved in it. Accept the existance of the negative emotions. Stand back& watch them, how they affect us. Labeling helps...anger...anger...anger..watch it rise, have being & pass away. A negative mind state can only sabotage your efforts to improve a situation. Guilt Confusing because it undermines our happiness but it's easy to tell ourselves that it's a worthy mindset. Treat it the same as others. Be mindful of it. Identify the beliefs making us feel the guilt, monitor how much time is spent on it & ho...

1. Drive an hour to return the cell phones we bought last weekend & cancel the service 2. Start over with new cell phones with a different company. 3. Not lose my mind while dealing with the cell phone fiasco and 2 small boys (yeah,right) 4. Find the source of the cat pee smell in the living room (it has to be the sofa or the carpet but while the air around them smells like cat pee, neither of them actually smells like it) 5. Do the Mission Possible assignment. Really the only thing I am looking forward to is the mission possible assignment. I'd gladly pay large sums for someone else to deal with the other 4.

People are often unreasonable, Illogical and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, People may accuse You of selfish motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful, You will win some false friends And some true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, People may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, Someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, They may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, People will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, And it may never be enough; Give the world the best you have anyway. You see, in the final analysis,I It is between you and God; It never was between you and them anyway. ~Mother Teresa~

This is always a challenging question for me because there is so much to take into account. The thing is, for most of the eras that I find interesting & would like to have lived in, I would be dead now due to my appendix rupturing (I just remembered that it was exactly 4 years ago today, 11 days after my csection when i had to have out) The first successful appendectomy was in the late-19th century. That is assuming I survived the breech birth of my son right before it. Let's just ignore these things.... I'd love to live in Tudor times because that is my favorite time period. The age of discovery, so many new things being learned or old thing being rediscovered. New countries, new people, new foods, etc. The Reformation going on. It would be an exciting time to live. But I'd like as not get burned at the stake, or persecuted in some other way for my beleifs, which dampens my enthusiasm just a bit. I'd also love to live in Roman times, between the rise of Ceasa...

It's Bake a Pie Day! Today is the day when it is traditional to bake a pie. Pies are traditional food - both sweet and savory. Theya re the original convenience food, something nutritious wraped in a bread crust making it easy to take with you. Pies come in all sizes, from small 'pocket pies' to the mammoth "4 and 20 blackbirds' sized pie. People love pie but nowadays most just dont have the time to actually make one, or they don't know how. It used to be there was help in the kitchen for most people, even that help was a daughter or sister or mother. But now there is usually just one person in the kitchen and that person has to make breakfast,lunch & dinner, nevermind adding a pie to that. So since WWII, one day a year has been set aside to just make pies. Permission is granted by society to have pie for breakfast, lunch or dinner (or even all 3). There are many kids of pie so that does not mean you have to eat chocolate cream or apple pie only....

We were going to go to get new cell phones Saturday morning. It's an hour drive to the place with the service we needed (that is a whole other story in itself). Tower goes down Fri night so DH has to go deal with that first thing but he said he had a plan so someone would relieve him by 10:30 so we could go. 10:30 rolls around....11....11:30 no call from him, no sign of him & his cell goes straight to voice mail. (he is standing AT a cell tower & his phone barely registers a signal, that is why it needs replaced) right before noon he calls& says somone is on their way. Now,I am a bit testy at this point. Ok, I am furious (it is that time of the month & I know I am furious hormonally & merely testy situationally). We finally meet up with him & drive into the traffic hell of the shopping plaza in question. It is 1:30 when we get to Circuit City. 2 hours later we leave with phones. The boys were great for about 20 minutes but the other hour & half ...

As humans, we possess the tendency to name and categorize things. This applies to everything from plants and animals to styles to ourselves and others. Everyone who walks the earth carries or has carried some label, such as white, old, artist, animal lover, parent, child, or liberal, that either they themselves or others used to define them. While labels can help us form useful first impressions, they can also act as a thick filter between the world and ourselves. Expectations are derived from labels. When we begin to define others in terms of their profession, looks, wealth, or political background, it becomes harder to accept them unconditionally. And when we define ourselves with strict labels, we limit ourselves and our potential by effectively pigeonholing our identities. The challenge lies in finding a balance between that which defines us and our evolving natures. We first learn who we are when we are children. Identity is forged by society, which labels us so-and-so's child...

No I would't. Not either of them. Though I didn't actually choose my last occupation. I just sort of fell into telecom, or drifted. Yeah, it was a slow process so drifted is probably a better description. I really enjoyed it & can't really think of anything I would have prefered to do then. Now I am a SAHM, which I did choose, and cannot imagine not being. it was a good choice. 3 years from now, when both little boys are in school all day 5 days a week I will be able to choose again what I want to do and so far I have no clue. I'm taking the winter off & doing absolutely nothing (i will have spent the previous year driving back & forth from the Primary school 3x a day with one kid in half day an one in full day. That is 6 30 minute drives 5 days a week. I deserve a couple of months of not needing to go anywhere), assuming we have no urgent need for me to work, but then in Jan 2010, or thereabouts I will return to something in the workforce.

Oh yeah. I've got clutter. If it wasn't hiding my camera batteries in it I would take a picture of it. :) DOes it bother me? No not really, as long as it is organized somehow. Like in piles. Clutter in piles is fine; clutter scattered around all over the place is just a big mess & needs put in piles. I also like it to be contained in bins. I have lots of mesh pop up bins and plastic bins all around the house, piled with clutter. It's clutter because it is unorganized. If all the trucks were in one bin and all the Little People in another then it would just be storage, but since they are all jumbled together in various bins piled hapazardly ontop of one another, they are clutter. People say "how do you keep your family room so clean?" I say, "lidded bins". You can't find a darn thing without opening all of them & scattering stuff all over the place, but once yu toss all the stuff back into whatever bin is convenient you suddenly ...

"I love you as you are as you seek to find your own special way to relate to the world, or the way you feel that is right for you. It is important that you are the person you want to be and not someone that I or others think you should be. I realize that I cannot know what is best for you although perhaps sometimes I think I do. I've not been where you have been, viewing life from that angle you have, I do not know what you have chosen to learn, how you have chosen to learn it, with whom or in what time period. I have not walked life looking through your eyes so how can I know what you need. I allow you to be in the world without a thought or word of judgment from me about the deeds you undertake. I see no error in the things you say and do, in this place where I am. I see that there are many ways to perceive and experience the different facets of our world. I allow without reservation the choices you make in each moment. I make no judgment of this, for if I were to deny your ...

Of all the TV programs, which one have you watched the most? Why? Is it connected in some way to your life and/or perspective? I think the show with Most Episodes Viewed would have to be Good Eats. I love that show & have watched it from it's debut on FoodTV. I love that Alton explains the reasons behind why you do the things you do when preparing food because it helps me make similar things on my own. He's convinced me to try foods I don't generally like - though he has failed with cabbage & onions. It is entertaining & I always take something away from it. The show that has been Watched the Longest would be Dr Who. I have been watching it since I first encountered it on PBS in the late 70's but there was that 10-15 year or so hiatus between the last Doctor 7 episode and the first Doctor 9 episode. (I'm not sure how long it was because I relied on erratic PBS viewing & who knows how long after they first aired on the BBC they made it to PBS. ...

I've been reading Buddhism for Mothers. It's very good. Right now it is talking about the importance of meditation & how moms haven't got time for that. So she likes the concept of 'mindful meditation' that many Zen monestaries teach. It's totally focusing on what you are doing. Putting your mind completely in the NOW of folding laundry or washing dishes or whatever. Not thinking about what you need to do next or what you might cook for dinner or whether the car's registration is due yet. Just "Folding the sleeve in, now folding the oher sleeve, smoothing it down, the fabric feels smooth & cool, folding up the bottom half" etc. It is supposed to be very calming & soothing. It also makes things take a bit longer but the tradeoff is mental peace & the laundry is folded. So I decided to take a mindful shower. That was probably the most decadently sensuous experience I have had in ages. 10 minutes of just thinking about how the water fe...

We spent it in Maryland. We met up with friends Saturday & went to the Aquarium, stayed in a hotel & went to the Ren Fest Sunday. It was so rainy on Saturday. We managed to get from the parking lot to Cheesecake Factory for lunch without getting too wet and there was a lull in the rain when we dashed to the Aquarium. We were there about 3 hours. We saw everything in Pier 3 (exhibits are broken up into 4 Piers), which was Australia, the rain forest & reptiles. Mayhem was on his harness, which looks like a puppy backpack, so he was free to run all over the place & was loving it. We looked down on the area with the stingrays & he was convinced they were leaves floating in the water. Every time we came to a tank of fish he would shout CHIFSES! And point. Havoc was enjoying just looking. He was rather quiet, I think he was a little overwhelmed. We gave him our old digi camera to use and he took about 10 photos there. We left to get something to eat (the other...

This is slow reading, not because it is tedious, but because it is a lot to absorb. I read maybe half a chapter & then have to think about it. I'm at the part about being mindful & that includes watching your thoughts & reactions. Not judging them, you are suppoed to be kind to yourself as well as others, but just watching them & considering why you do what you do. I tend to read things & then try & place myself on a scale in my mind. How good am I at doing that? How likely am I to do that? How far short have I fallen of this? This is all ego & wanting to rank myself, compared against some ideal me that exists in my mind. It doesn't matter what went before. It matters what is now. I need to let go of my need to rank myself in the past & just strive to succeed in the present. The present makes the future. So I need to accept - yep, you weren't mindful of these things before. You acted right but not from the best motives. It's...

Mindfulness - knowing what is happening at the time it is happening We all are a bit scatty sometimes, there is no need to beat yourself up about it, just be aware of it & do your best to overcome it. Be aware of the moment & respond to what it needs Mindfulness is is an awareness of all the present moment contains: the sensations of your body, your feelings, perceptions, assumptions & tendancies. This helps you understand what is actually going on in your mental process & can help you head off the negative reactions. Mindfulness saves energy & time. You make fewer mistakes when you pay attention to what you are doing & saying. Meditation & mindfulness give you a mental holiday from the usual round of worries & plans. They helpyou understand that negative emotions are transient states so there is no need to get too caught up in them. We can watch them develop without identifying too closely with them. Telling yourself what you are doing, while you ...

4 Noble Truths There is suffering Attachment causes suffering Suffering can end There is a path to send suffering As mothers we understand there is suffering in life; and we have experienced a truer love. Through loving a child we deepen our capacity to be a loving person for others as well. Buddhism teaches compassion for all living beings & that must include ourselves - don't waste energy on feeling guilty & self-recriminations, just be aware & pay attention. Be gentle, patient & persistent with all you do. Be self-aware, be in the now The 8 Fold Path WISDOM 1. Skillful Understanding - seeing life the way it is 2. Skillful Thought - being serious about Buddhist practice ETHICS 3. Skillful Speech 4. Skillful Action 5. Skillful Livelihood Speak & act in a way that shows compaasion & kindness to others. Path to wisdom requires living ethically MENTAL DISCIPLINE 6. Skillful Effort 7. Skillful Mindfulness 8. Skillful Concentration